3 Life-Shifts You Will Experience When You Turn 30

Happy Birthday to me!! I entered my 30s on Monday. No matter I am ready or not, THE TIME HAS Come! THANK YOU, everyone, who wished me a Happy Birthday. I am TRUELY Blessed!! Also thanks for readings this! Best GIFT EVER!!  


I don't look or feel very different. Many people say, I still look like 18 or 19. Haha. I am happy about that. 
10 Year Challenge: 19 vs. 29


However, things do change, and I realized I "aged." Here are the following 3 major life-shifting people will experience once they reach the 30s. 

1. Body: 
I realized I can no longer pull an ALL-Nighter. I become tired so easily. My body would not function well without 6-7 hours of sleep each day. I am glad I finished school and proud of people who can still go back to school in their 30s and beyond. The BEST weekend activity is sleeping and spending time relaxing alone. I still like to go out with friends, but I don't enjoy partying anymore. I used to love eating a lot of junk food, but now, I often not feel well after a binge-eating. I prefer to eat healthier and less food.   


2. Conversation Topics with Friends: 
When I am in my 20s, I often talk about dating, applying/finishing schools, finding jobs, weddings, etc. with friends. Once the 30s coming to close, the conversation changes to mortgages, investments, promotions, changing jobs, starting a family, etc. Friends gatherings will begin to consist more couples than singles and sometimes there will be kids running around. As I grew older, I realized I will have lesser friends, but better ones. I learned friends are quality over quantity. Only true friendship would last throughout adulthood. 


3. Dress/Hair Style/Picture Pose Preference 
As I approach my late 20s, I definitely started to pay attention to my wardrobes more. During my early 20s, I wear jeans, t-shirts, and casual mini-skirts. When I got older, I began to buy more expansive and fancy dresses as well. I realized I don't need many clothes. I only need a few good-quality expensive clothes.



Age: 23 vs. 29

Moreover, I realized that when I am younger, I tend to do more silly and create bold poses. As I age, I became more conservative and less creative about how I picture myself. It shows well by comparing these two pictures at the Crate Lake in my early and late 20s. 


At the Crate Lake: Early 20s vs. Late 20s

All in all, changes and shifting are scary but exciting. Here is to the new decade! Don't be afraid to grow. In the end, age is just a number. Also, each age group has its own blessing and fun! 

Am I Always Happy?!

I often hear people say:

"You are always SMILING!!" 

"Whenever I see you, you are so HAPPY!!"

"You are my SUNSHINE!!"

Well, am I always been this happy? Actually NO. I have tough times and struggles that I am facing. To be honest: I am "actually happy" only about 10% of the day. I am going to share my down times and the strategies I use to keep my positivity going. 

Don't give me wrong. I like the fact that people are saying "You are always smiling," "You are my sunshine," etc., however, there are hardships behind those laughs. Here are some of the struggles am thinking about 90% of the day. 
-Dealing with Anxiety: I am constantly worried about the future: finance, family, relationships, health etc. I often scared of what going to happen tomorrow. Will my happiness continue to exist? Please don't take my happiness away from me.   
-Career Development: I am still figuring out what I want to do and where I will be. Although I have a master degree, three credentials, and 3-4 years of work experience, I can't find security in the job. There are still a couple of "difficult" credentials to obtain, and my career stage is not yet where I would like it to be. 
-Language and Cultural Struggles: I grew up in three different countries. Although I am fluent in three languages, it is hard to find "who I am," and "where I belong." I often have an identity crisis. I became scared that I don't fit in or I cannot be myself.

Enough sad stuff, here are what I do to maintain my happiness and distract from anxiety, career scare, and identity crisis. 

1. Fitness: I enjoy running, swimming, and dancing. When I work out, I forget all the problems I am facing. I feel refreshed after gym. Working out is the best way to clear my mind. 

2. My Accomplishments: Although I still have not got where career and other life goals should be, I am proud of myself for what I have accomplished so far. If I can earn a master degree, three credentials, and master three languages, I CAN achieve my career, financial, and other life goals. 

(Willamette University MBA Graduation)

3. My Family: I am glad that my family is supportive and loving. Whenever I am down, they are always there to make me feel better and cheer me up. Thank you, my mother, for always believing in me more than I believe in myself. 

                                               

(Savior Island, Portland, OR)

4. Nature: No matter what weather it is, I love spending time in nature. Whenever I am upset, I like to come to the woods. I appreciate the "gift" that my mother nature gave to us. I would feel grateful for "what I have," and not to be greedy about "what I don't have." I also realize the "world is big" and "how small my problem" looks.

(Redwood, California)

5. Food: Enough said! Good food will solve EVERYTHING. People who love to eat are the happiest people!! I usually crave for something either sweet or comforting. Mother's cooking is always the best way to recover from anything. 

(Thai Restaurant: Sesame Asian Kitch in Ashland, OR)

6. Studying (Reading and Writing): I enjoy reading an inspirational quote every morning to motivate myself. Good literature would help people view the world, differently, and it is always helpful to study more. Writing down the obstacles in life also minimize mental burden. I maintain this blog to de-stress as well. 

29 Messages/Advices to Teenage/Early 20s Self

I am old! Well, people still think I am in college or even high school!? Asians never age and I have a baby face and young mind! 

Thanks for all the birthday wishes from ALL OVER the world in THEIR OWN LANGUAGES!! I had two cakes this year!! 

Here are some lessons/facts/advises I wished I knew when I was a teenager and in the early 20s (what I actually look like)

1. Don't Be Afraid to Make Mistakes. Better to make mistakes earlier than later.
2. You are Never Too Old for Anything. MANY people return to school in their 30s, 40s, and even 50s to learn something new. 
3. Stop Listen to Others All the Time. Listen to YOUR heart and TRUST your instincts!
4. List Blessings. When you have 100 things to be sad, list 1,000 things to be happy. 
5. Treat Yourself Once a While. Don't burn yourself to death. You DESERVE to breathe. 
6. Speak Up Your Thoughts. NOBODY is a mindreader. If you want to be understood, speak up is the ONLY way!
7. You CANNOT Always Get What You Want. Could be a job, part, lover, etc. As long as you tried, sometimes just let it go!
8. The Biggest Enemy is Yourself, NOT the People Bring You Down. IGNORE those people and cut them OUT from your life if you can! They have their "judgment" to say, but still YOUR decision to "listen." 
9. You Only Live Once and Life is Short. If you want to do something, JUST DO IT. Don't let anyone/anything stop you!
10. If Something Would not Matter in Five Year, Do Not Spend More Than Five Minutes Thinking About It. Enough said! Just let it go!
11. Grades are NOT Everything. Don't let bad grades bring you down or being overconfident with good grades. There are many other factors such other personality, networking, health, etc. to have a "successful" and "happy" life. 
12. Go and Meet More People, Do Not Be Shy. I like to socialize, but I am very shy due to my language barrier. Remember if they laugh at you, it is their problem, not yours. 
13. Friends Come and Go. Some friends might go, but there will be new friends. In the end, ONLY the TRUE friends will always stay with you. 
14. Develop Hobbies. You need something destress. You should not be studying and working all the time. The more hobbies you have, the LESS LIKELY you will have depression 
15. Be Bold to Date. I was (am) a shy person and talking to boys was (is) hard for me. Later, I realized, what is the worse can happen? He will say "no," and you two "don't work out."  
16. Read and Write More. Read a good book and write out your thoughts can help you de-stress and look at the world differently and realizing nothing is the end of the world. Your mind is what you read.
17. Have (Contingent) Plan(S). Although life is always UNPREDICTABLE, still need a plan for everything we do. Not just a plan, contingency plans are NECESSARY. 
18. Never Too Early to Learn How to Manage Your Finance. Never knew how important finance is! If I learned finance earlier, I have saved more money, not wasted any money, and developed the skill to negotiate and find cheaper options. 
19. Be Physically Active is Fun: I might be very active now, but I was lazy and overweight when I was a teenager. I hated exercise, but encouragement and motivation from instructors changed my view of exercising. I began enjoy working out. Now, my lifestyle is completely changed
20. Develop the Habit of Going to Bed Early and Waking Up Early. Never knew how helpful this is! Your mind the most efficient in the morning. Staying up late would not accomplish anything. It is better to finish in the morning. I try to wake up a few hours earlier than other people and get the DIFFICULT and IMPORTANT tasks down, first, so in case something happens later the day, I don't have to worry. 
21. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others. You are special in your OWN way! Everyone has DIFFERENT timeline and talents. 
22. Dress Neatly and Nicely. You will be more likely land the job and make more friends if you dress well. I understand that appearance is NOT everything, but the way you dress defines your personality and intellectuality.  
23. It is Okay to Have Dream. Dream big, don't let the doubts kill your dreams. Doubts kill more dreams than failures. 
24. Families are Important. No matter how busy you are, always think about the family, FIRST. They are the people will stay with you for as long as you live, not your career. 
25. If you Having an Identify Crisis, Get Identify Capital and/or Create Yourself. Like list your interests, hobbies, skills, and/or go to school to study what you like and always wanted to do!
26. Control Your Fate. I usually let fate decide where I am going, but unless it is something I cannot control, don't every let fate control me again. I have the right pursue what I want. 
27. Music Will Always Be There to Save Your Life. Family and friends are there with when you need them, but they are not available 24/7. If you need an immediate pickup, have a motivational song playlist ready wherever you go. Here is: Mine
28. Understand Your Values: Don't ever undersell yourself! You are unique, and your skill/personality/character are irreplaceable! 
29. Don't Live in the Past, Keep Moving Forward. Your past does NOT define your future. Future successes usually come past failures! 

I hope you will find this helpful and GOOD LUCK!!

PS. Can you guess what were my three wishes?

Post Grad Unemployment? How to handle it.

April through June are graduation season. Commencements are wonderful because they honor all the achievement and celebrate an "end of an era." If the graduates did not have a job offer after graduation, there would be a bitter part of the celebration. 

Dear Graduates Who are Unemployed/ Underemployed: 

You can choose to sad or happy about the situation. I started this blog when I was unemployed after college graduation back in 2011. I am going to share my experiences and advice I received over the years. I hope this post will be helpful.  

 
(Graduation from High School: 2007, College: 2011, and Graduate School: 2016)

First, do not feel frustrated or miserable if you are did not end up with a "good job" after graduation. Understand that you worked hard on getting the degree/certificate and BE PROUD of yourself for finishing it. Be patient about job hunting because finding the "right fit" takes time. I know that you might have loans and other commitment, but don't rush into whatever job that is available there. You rather start work later with the job you actually love than work soon with the job you would end up hating. 

While you are unemployed/ underemployed, there are plenty of stuff you can do other than being stressed out. I am sure there are things you have been putting off due to school and other commitments. Here are the activities I did while I was unemployed. 

• Spend time with family and friends
• Develop your passion
• Study something that is not taught in the university
• Travel the world
• Start business/ learn to be a freelancer

I also have some job hunting tips, and hopefully, this would speed up with landing the right fit job.  

• Reconnect with your friends, old classmates, professors, and coworkers and extended family: maybe they can do referral job. You need to "know someone" to actually get a job these days. 
• Polish resume: I asked many writing tutors to edit my resume to look perfect. Having a good resume would stand out among other applicants.
• Consult with counselors: do not forget to reach out career advisors, and they would love to give you more advice.  
• Find out your true self: I listed what I like and good at while searching for my career path. This helped me market myself better in networking and interviews. 

Remember, in the end, it does not matter whether you have a job offer or not at the time of the graduation. Post Graduation is only one moment in life. You never know where you at and what kind job you will in 5, 10, and 20 years and even 30 years. People change jobs and careers all the time.

Top 10 Motivational Songs I Like

I admit that I have down time in my life such as personal issues, could not land my dream job, things did not go like I planned, and/or being treated badly at school or work. We all have those moments. What has been always being there here and kept me moving forward? It is MUSIC!! I conducted the rankings of my favorite motivational songs. These songs are attached to my heart!! The links are in the title. I hope you will listen and get inspired!! 

10. Never Say Never - Justin Bieber


Never Say Never came out in 2011 when I graduated college. At that time job market was slim, so I received a lot of rejection letters. However, I will never say never about landing my dream job because "whenever you knock me down, I will not stay on the ground!!"

9. Born This Way - Lady Gaga


Born This Way reminded me of being bullied in school regarding my poor language skills and negative body image. This song boosted my confidence because "you are beautiful in your way because god makes no mistake. You are on the right track because you are born this way."

8. Reflection - Christina Aguilera


I listen to reflection every time I lost my way. This song is from the movie "Mulan." I am like her. I don't want to be the person other want me to be. I hope they will see and accept my true self. "Must there a secret me I force to hide. I won't pretend that I am someone else for all time. When will my reflection who I am inside?"

7. The Climb - Miley Cyrus


I listen to "The Climb" when I am achieving a long and tough goal. I often doubt whether I will get there or not and I might give up in the middle. This song would keep me going no matter how fast and how it will take me to get there because "there always going to be another mountain, there will be some battle, and sometimes I have to lose."

6. When You Believe - Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey


If going through something, which I cannot control or the probability of success is low, I often listen to "When You Believe." It gave me hope because "there can be miracles when you believe, through hope is frail.It's hard to kill." I like to believe in miracles. 

5. Firework - Katy Perry


I listen to this song before interviews and presentations. Although I don't like interviews and presentations and I am not good at speaking, this song give me the confidence. I feel I am the firework and let the interviewees/audience see my worth (as I shoot across the sky). 

4. You Raise Me Up - Josh Groban


This song encourages me to take challenges and help me to go beyond what I can. I am a risk taker, but I my fear often get in the way. Whenever I feel afraid, I image a sin and think "I am strong when I am on your shoulders. You raise up to more than I can be." I love Josh Groban's opera voice because it warms my heart. 

3. Through the Rain - Mariah Carey


Every time I go through a rough time, I image like this song's lyrics "caught in the rain and nowhere to run." I believe that "I can make through the rain and I can stand up once again, on my own because I am strong enough to make it. If I live one more day, I am going to make through the rain."  I LOVE Mariah's voice. It gave me POWER!!

2. Stronger - Kelly Clarkson


Every time I hear discouragement or something devastating happen to me, I often become a negative person and think it is the end of the world. I listen to Stronger to maintain positive because "what does kill you makes you stronger". Instead of being killed by those discouragement and devastating events, I will become a fighter to win the battle. 

1. Fix You - Cold Play


Fix You is such a therapeutic song. It starts with 
"When you try your best, but you don't succeed. When you get what you want, but not what you need. When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep. Stuck in reverse. When the tear stream down your face, when you lose something you can not replace, when love someone, but it goes to waste. Could be worse?" 
I am sure we ALL HAD at least one of those moments. This song came out when I was in high school (most weird time). I lost track how many times this song saved my life for the past ten years. 

"People Haven't Always Been There for Me, But Music Always Has" - Taylor Swift

You are NEVER ALONE when you have music!!

Beat Bullies

Statistic Facts from Bullies from https://nobullying.com/bullying-suicide-statistics/: 

"Bullied victims are 7 to 9 percent more likely to consider suicide according to a study by YaleUniversity."

"Studies in Britain have found half of the suicides among youth related to bullying."

"According to a study by ABC News over 30,000 children stay home every day due to the fear of being bullied."

I have been experiencing being bullied since pre-school, and I can still feel the pain after 20 years. I know I need to move on from my dark past, but if you have experience being bullied as a child, you will understand it is very hard to forget about it. Being bullied continued through elementary school to high school (even graduate school). Sometimes I cried myself to death, there were even days that I did not want to go to school because of the bullies. My behavior was strange sometimes and I developed low self-esteem.

I thought it will get better after high school as we grow older and become more mature. However, after experiencing bully again in graduate school and one of my previous workplace, I learned bullies would never going to disappear no matter how old we get. 

Bully exists everywhere. No matter which country and what kind of community it is, there will be bullies. I grew up in three different countries, there were bullies in school from all of them. Moreover, It is not just in the schools, the bully can exist in a workplace, neighborhood, community, etc. 

Furthermore, NOTHING can stop those bullies despite the fact that there are advocates who would like to have the word out to stop them. They might be able to reduce bullies but cannot eliminate them because most of the bullies are not aware of they are wrong. The only thing we can do is to avoid being involved with bullies and protect ourselves from them. 

Remember that, NO ONE can save you from bullies besides YOU, not your parents, teachers, friends, nor boyfriend/girlfriend. The best revenge is to ignore them and be strong with improving yourself. The purpose of the bullies is that they want to see you cry and being sad. Do NOT let them get their way. After being bullied for long, I decided instead of being depressed, I worked hard to raise my grades and landing my dream job and exercise a lot to be strong. Now, I have more friends, happier, smarter, and stronger; I would not let anyone bully me, anymore.  

Lastly, bullies it is not your problem, so do not blame yourself. They are the one with problems. 

"You are awesome. Bullies are NOT."

Dealing with Anxiety

Confession: I have anxiety. 
Definition of Anxiety: mental health disorder characterized by feelings of worry or fear that are strong enough to interfere with one's daily activities.

(Me at Age 4)

There are a lot of worries and fears in my life, which has interfered my daily life. I worry about the future would not go the way like I planned, and I can fear that I cannot handle the failure and unfortunate from the unplanned incidents. Those anxieties lead me to less sleep, binge eating/lost appetite, being anti-social, etc.   

Feeling of anxiety started when I was a junior in high school. I was confused what I wanted to do and struggled with academics. I worried about I can never find the career I love, and scared that I would not be successful. I thought anxiety could get better once I go to college; however, I anxiety IS STILL with me TODAY. (after graduating college and graduate school and start working)

Later, I realized anxiety will continue to exist throughout the lifetime no matter how old I get because there are always something to worry and fear. Life is filled with cycles of challenges. One is solved and another one comes, and sometimes additional difficulties appear before resolving the first one. 

Then, I learned to overcome my anxiety by talking to my future self. When I was in school, I worry about whether I will pass the classes and able to graduate. Now in my professional life, I feel doing school is the easiest thing ever. Work is harder than study. I do not know why I was scared back then. 

Currently, I am having anxiety about my career path, finance, life partner, etc; however, I am confident that my future self will say "I do not know why I was scared. These are the easiest things ever!!"

Here are some of my favorite quotes when I treat my anxiety. 

"Problems are only temporary."

"Life is filled with surprises."

"Live in the present. You can not change the past, and you never know the future. There is no need to not letting go of the past and worrying about the future."

Let's Beat Anxiety and Hope for the Happiness. 

How I Fall in Love with Writing......

Happy Valentine's Day!! Valentine is NOT about having a boyfriend/girlfriend/date or not, it is about "LOVE." You can love your friends, family, and others. Today I would like to express how I fall in love with writing. I might going to write about how I fall in love with a guy many years later......

I did not like to write as I grow up. Not only I did not like, I HATED IT. Grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc. I took writing classes to improve it, but it did not work as well. I learned how to write in a proper format, but I still struggled. I grow up in three different countries, so language was always a problem. I liked math class and I hated literature class from elementary school to high school.

When I was 21, I took a writing class in college as part of my degree requirement. I thought this class would be like the writing classes I took before where I did not improve anything; however, I met an awesome professor who changed my view of writing. He made his class interesting by having a lot of discussions for what we like write. Instead of spending hours on the boring grammar practice, we learned how to express our self in writing. Then he helped us how to put the thoughts in better expression. After that, edit the grammar, spelling, and punctuation.

Like any other people in their teens and 20s, there were anxiety and insecurity in my life. I admit that I was very depressed in high school and college with stress and pressures; however, writing made me happy and less depressed. I feel I can be myself and get to know myself. It is the best way to mediate. The more I write, the better I got. First we all have to LOVE to write, so we will practice more. The more we practice, we learn more about grammar, spelling, and punctuations.

Writing not about grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc., it is about expressing myself and reflect who I am. 

I admit that I still struggle with writing and every time I come to writing an email or formal paper, I get scared because I will make spelling and grammar mistakes. However, this would not stop me from writing. The only way to improve is practice. Do not get scared for making mistakes. Learn from mistakes.

Literature is wonderful. Do not stop writing. Everyone is a good writer as long as you have thoughts. Your writing is what you stand out and what is unique about "YOU."

Working in a Cross-Cultural/Functional Team

In my MBA program, we do various team works and they are often done in cross-cultural teams. Working in a cross-cultural team seems hard, and I admit that it is difficult sometimes. There are language barrier, miscommunication, difference in cultures, etc. I experience difficulties as well; however, it was very fun working in a cross-cultural team. It was easier than I thought. Here are the thoughts I gained from this opportunity.

In order to overcome the difference in culture and communication, it is important to have open communication in the team. I understand some cultures are more indirect than others, but we encouraged each other to be open to mitigate communication problems in working together. The next important strategy in a successful group is mutual understanding and respect, which means everyone should respect each other and accept to other cultures. Lastly, no matter which language we speak, we should have the same goal. Having the same goal would overcome the language barrier.

After my MBA program, I hope to work in an international company and able to connect with people across the globe. The benefit of cross-cultural team is that it is helpful to for the team to be successful in the long-run. Homogenous team would have less difficulties in working together; however, it is only for the short-term success. Cross-cultural team would never run out of ideas.

I learned although we are different, but all the cultures are interrelated. We all like get together and eat delicious food and have fun no matter where you from. We all work hard to make our dreams come true. Food and hard work can bring people together.

Let's United the World and Help One and Another!!

We are family!!

Life is NOT Fair

I used to think"life is fair," as long we embrace everything we have. However, lately, I have been hearing a lot of terrible news on TV and unfortunate incidents happened among my friends, I started to realize "Life is Not Fair." Then I started reflect on a blog post I read earlier this year called "You're living a dream, but not yours" by Lizzy Early. I like her blog because not onlyshe posts the recipes of yummmy treats, but also she posts a lot of her inspiring life experiences. I begin think about the life differently.

Life is not fair because.....

• You do not have the loving family like others
• You do not have the healthy body like others
• You do not have the great friends like others
• You do not have the wealth like others
• You do not have the beautiful appearance like others
• You do not have the intelligence like others
• You do not have the nice significant other like others
• You do not have the althetic skills like the others

At the same time........

• You might not have the loving family like others, but you could have the healthy body that others do not have
• You might not have the healthy body like others, but you could have the great friends that others do not have
• You might not have the great friends like others, but you could have the wealth that others do not have
• You might not have the wealth like others, but you could have the beautiful appearance that others do not have
• You might not have the beautiful appearance like others, but you could have the intelligence that others do not have
• You might not have the intelligence like others, but you could have the nice significant other that others do not have
• You might not have the nice significant other like others, but you could have the althetic skills that others do not have
• You might not have the althetic skills like the others, but you could have the loving family that others do not have

Life is not fair because you are not live in your own dream, but you are living in someone else's dream

You could be complain about your love life, family, wealth, appearance, and ability etc.; however, there are people wish had your other parts of you.

Girl Talk 4 - True Beauty

Graduate school is getting very busy for me at this moment. I am having hard time finding time to blog; however, I will try to post at least the "Girltalk." I LOVE writing "Girltalk" because not only I received a lot of positive reviews from my friends for previous entries, but also I could have a chance to express my opinion for girl related issues.

Confession: I was not secure about my look. I used to be very fat during my teenage years, and I also had issues with my skin. Even some people were telling me "you are beautiful," I was not confident about that. "They were just being nice to me." I was telling this to myself. Well, we all know that outer beauty more important than inner beauty; however, pretty people have more advantage for sure. Later I realized outer beauty and inner beauty interrelated with each other, so outer beauty is as significant as inner beauty
(Later I lost some weight, and my skin issue slowly disappeared, so appearance changes through time passes. Do NOT worry that much!)

The "basic beauty" is to have a gentle heart, so be a kind person first. Did you know that face tells the person's personality? Sweet people would more likely to be stunning. Next, be optimistic as much as you can. Do you know "smile is the best make up a girl can wear"? If a girl can be happy ALL the time, she is more attractive than other girls. Lastly, be smart for all. It is NOT hard, and every body CAN be smart. You do not need to go to Iny League school to be smart. A smart girl knows how to make herself elegant, make the right decision for picking boys, pay attention to other people's feeling etc. Nice, optimistic, and smart girl definitely look gergous outside.

"Inner beauty is more important than outer beauty; however, people only can see the outer beauty at the first sight. I believe Inner beauty reflects outer beauty, so beautiful people are beautiful inside out"

Girl Talk 2 - Dating

First, Thank You Very Much EVERYONE!! I did not expect my last girl talk will turn out to be so well. I saw likes and shares on Facebook, which made me very happy. I hope to continue this series. It will be the first post of every month and each Girl Talk will start with a "confession".

Confession: Dating scares me. First, I did not know how flirt. Sometimes I do not even know I was flirting or someone was flirting with me. I also try not get into relationships nor go out on an "official date". I do go have meal, cup of coffee, and hang out with my guy friends occasionally, but I never called that a "date". Moreover, I am a shy person, so I never make the first move. I always let the guy do it. Furthermore, I am afraid of getting rejected, break-ups, etc., so I avoid dating. Lastly, I feel stressed out when I can not read a guy's mind or a guy misread my mind.

However, I had a dream for my perfect boyfriend back in my teenage years. Now, I realized how silly I was making the list and daydreaming. When I entered my 20s, I learned to face the reality. Fairy tale does not exist. I stopped believe in true love because life is not like fairly tale. Later I found out that believe in true love is different from believing in fairly tale. True love exist; however not like the fairy tale. Also dating is not complicated, it is about searching for the right fit. I do not have to be afraid. Plus good guys do exist. It took me a long time for me to understand dating is fun. 

I am not a dating expert nor very experienced in actual dating, I did learned several facts by talking to guys and watching people around me date. First, you have to know who you are looking for. The guy does not have to be the "ideal" guy you dream as an teenager, but you have to know what kind of "actual guy" you like. The reason I still have struggle dating is because I did not know who I am looking for. If you already have the idea of your interest, your dating life will be less ambiguous. Another fact is age does not matter. I have talked guys who are six years younger, six years older and same age as me. I did not feel anything weird among all. Age does not represent anything and understand that every guy is different. Try to date different kind of guys. Last but not the least, there should be mutual friends, have things in common, and similar goals. These are very important especially if you consider the long term relationship. Two people must share same interests and able to hang out with same types of group.  

Girls: I hope you liked this post and found helpful. Have fun dating!! Do not be scared, and be bold sometimes. Share your thoughts and experience about dating with me if you can.

PS. Right now, I feel I am dating this blog. I rather stay home and write blogs than go out on a date:)

What To Do During Unemployment?

This will be my last career related post for this June. This post follows my last two posts:Job Hunting Techniques and Interview Tips . I hope you all find them helpful. I know economy has been down for the past six years, but do not worry it will pick up. If you are struggling to land a job after graduation, you are not the only one. There are something you can while unemployed beside looking for a job. These were what I did when I was unemployed.

1. Volunteer: It is important to get some work experience. You could have good grades, but you still did not get a job; the reason might be you do not have enough work experience. Start build your work experience from volunteering. Once you are more experienced, the chances of getting hire would be higher. People you volunteer for might able provide some work opportunity for you in the future as well.

2. Redefine Yourself: If you could not find a job after graduation, do not blame yourself. May be it is not what you want to do. If you lose a job, instead of being mad, it is time to do some self analysis. May be this job was not your best fit, and/or you never actually liked the job. Try to come up with answers to those questions: "What you did wrong?" "What you good at?" It is time to look for a job that you like and do not make the same mistake from the last job.

3. Spend Time With Friends and Family: Before you became unemployed, you were busy at school and/or work. You probably not have enough time to be with your friends and family. Why do not you take unemployment as an advantage and spend some time with people around you.

4. Do Something You Did Not Have Time To Do Before: You can travel, paint, read a book, write a story/poet, knit a hat etc. You can even use your hobbie turn into a business. May be someday, your hobbie will become your job? You never know. Some entrepreneurs started be unemployed then became very rich (sorry for off topic).

5. Go Back to School: If you have the finance available, I recommend to go back to school. Education is necessary no matter how old you are. There are Post-Baccalaureate and Graduate programs. Ask academics advisers, see what your options are. By the time you have your Post-Baccalaureate and/or Master, the economy might be better and you are definitely better in the market.

Last but not at least, remember to be optimistic!! Did not find job? Lost a job? Well thing could be worse. What does not kill you makes you stronger!!

Girl Talk - Be Confident!!

I am starting a new series here in my blog called "Girl Talk". In this blog, I shared a lot of life lessons and advices I heard mostly from people and readings. "Girl Talk" would be more personal and experience based. I try to have this on the first post of each month starting June. This month's topic is about "Confidence."

I have a confession to make: I was not a confident person as I grow up. I always felt shy to talk in the class and my communication skill was not good at all. I usually blaming myself for screw ups. After I failed many times, seriously, how can I be confident again? Glad that I am more confident today than I used to be, but every once a while I lose hope and confidence again. Every time this happens these are guild lines I try to follow.

I clear my mind first. I usually like to go exercise, play some piano, watch a movie, write a blog post, and/or bake something. Do whatever you like to do to clear up your mind whenever the confidence is gone. In order to be confident again, it is important to get refreshed. Then think find the cause that made me fail and practice to be make it perfect. Every time I lose confidence because I failed in something, I try not think it as the end of the world or I would never going to master it. Remember "practice makes perfect." All the achievements build my confidence. At the same time, think about what I am good at. I believe everyone is unique and special in their own way. I have strength and weakness. If I focused on my strength and learned to overcome my weakness, I would be a very confident person. Lastly, I'd like to surrounded by people who love me. I am glad that I have many friends who truly care for me. I also feel blessed with all encouragements I receive. The encouragement from people are so significant and special to me. After I did everything I can to regain my confidence, I usually feel ready to start over.

All in all, "confidence" is the key to success. We should be confident no matter what happens.
Hey, Girl, You Are Awesome.
"Confidence" is making a girl strong.
Good Luck!!

 

 

I hope you enjoyed this "Girl Talk."

Conquer Quarter Life *Crisis

I turned 25, and I am HAPPY about it. I had wonderful birthday celebration. I received a lot of birthday wishes from Facebook, my parents spoiled me with homemade cake and fancy dinner, and I even treated myself for a sweet trip to my favorite town in this world called Ashland. However, first thought about turning 25 was filled with ANXIETY.  

I started to have anxiety since I was 16. My emotion has been ups and downs till now. Even though I always look happy and want to inspire and motivate people, there were times I feel lost and just want to cry. These are the ten tips helped recover from some of the downtime and will help going through more anxiety attacks in the future. 

*I don't like to word "crisis" and I do NOT think it is crisis. It is more like moments, issue, process, etc.

 1. You are NOT the only one: Believe it or not, everyone has to go through this type of downtime sometime in their lives from age 15 to 29. There are only a few people who are perfectly fine growing up without any kind of anxiety. 

2. Everybody is different: Most late teens or 20s like to compare their success with others with the same age group. They might feel jealous when they see other peoples lives in the better stage. Please do NOT compare with other people. Some people are better in one way, and it doesn't mean they are more superior than others. Everyone is special and unique. 

3. Talk to people: It would be so much better if you talked with someone who understand you and care about you like friends, teachers, and/or relatives. I was blessed with many great friends who always understood me and encouraged me. I am also glad that I met a lot nice professors and mentors who gave me a lot of advices. 

4. Engage in social/network activities: Keep yourself involved and busy would helpful in any crisis. The social network events create more connections, and a lot of job opportunities comes from the connections. This would help people get the job/career they want. 

5. List out things you like/good at/want to do: You would not how good you are until. The list could be a long list. You will get confidence from them. Building confidence is As more you list, you will define who you are and find the pathway you want to follow. 

6. Exercise and stay healthy (young): No matter how old we are get we need to exercise. For me, exercise help me clear my mind every time I am lost. It is the BEST way to release stress and build strength. 

7. Believe that stress is good: There are many negative facts about stress; however, there are good parts as well. If you are stressed out, that means you have dreams and not giving up. If you have no stress, you do not have goals and things to achieve in life. 

8. Get inspirations from success stories/books/movies: Whenever the times in life just do not feel motivated or inspired, take a break. Let's get out from house and ask friends out to watch a movie or go to library to read a good book. At least go on-line do some research, and you will feel refreshed. 

9. Wait patiently and right thing will come at the right time: Whenever the crisis/trouble was big and there is absolutely nothing you can do, the best way is to "wait." Everything will get better as time goes by. Usually people get panic if they do not succeed or get the result they'd like immediately. Good thing sometimes happens later, and it is only for the people who wait. 

10. Work hard and stay positive: I am strong believer of anything CAN be achieved from diligent work and positive thoughts. There NOT a goal you can not reach, and there is NOT a problem you can not solve. 

Lastly, I'd like to you to remember: "There are always going to be anxiety in life. Little kids went thought it and older people have it as well. Most of young people can survive from it and everything will get better. Only small amount of them can not conquer quarter life crisis." 

Single on Valentines Day?? So What!!

Happy Valentine's Day!! OR, Happy Single Awareness Day!! I know there are singles out there who hate this day. I don't know why. I mean, even you don't have a "date", there ares still PLENTY of other ways to enjoy 2/14. 

Here are some ways celebrate or not celebrate this day.

1.  Have a Single Ladies/Guys Night Out: I believe having a this kind of night out is as much as fun as going to a date. Sometimes it is even more exciting. A formal date can be stressful. A fun night would be casual and relaxing.

2. Spend Time With Family and Friends and Give Love to Them: Valentine's Day is about all giving love. You can only give romantic love to one person; however, other love. Valentine's Day Write a Valentine's card and/or give treats and flowers to people you respect is also a great way to honor Valentine's Day. 

3. Use This Day As a Chance to Make a Move: The main problem with people stay single is that they are so afraid of make the move. Making the move is NOT that difficult. Couple valentines ago, I did ask a guy for lunch on Valentine's Day. I was nervous at first; however, I glad that he said "Yes." Even though we did not go beyond "just lunch," I still felt great I did make the move. 

4. Excuse to Eat Candies, Buy Flowers, and/or Watch Chick-Flicks Etc: All ladies can use this day to indulge yourself. This might be beneficial for single ladies. There are guys don't like candies, flowers, and/or chick-flicks etc. Girls might feel bad for those guys by pushing them to buy a flowers and candies and forcing them to watch chick-flicks. 

5. Don't Care All, Just Think Like ANY Another Day: Trust me, there ARE people who doesn't care about Valentine's AT ALL. 
To those haters: if you don't like it, just ignore it, please don't hate it. 

My Valentine's Day Plan This Year
I would treat Valentine's Day like an ordinary day. I will let my family and friends know how much I love and they mean to me. I made heart shaped cookies with chocolates and chocolate covered strawberries, then give some of them out and eat the rest to myself. 

Lastly I'd like to leave my reader with this thought: people should have nice heart to honor this day. No one should hate this day. This day is all about LOVE. It is not about compare yourself with others about whether have a date or not. It is about giving and caring. When you enjoying your date or whatever plans you have for tonight, please remember to give more love to your lover, family and friends. As long as you have love in your heart, you will be happy forever. 

Happy LOVE Day!! 

REAL New Year's Resolution Everyone MUST Make

A beginning of a new year is a new start. New start can lead to come up with resolutions and goals etc. I see there are a lot of them on Facebook, Blogs, and Instagram. Everyone's posts are similar and they all have things in common, which is either health or self-improvement related. 

I feel funny that only several days later, there are people saying their resolutions are broken already:) Well these are the ACTUAL resolutions you SHOULD be making. I promise if you kept all these, all your mental/physical health and personal/career improvement will come true. 

1. Be yourself and love it 
2. Spend more time dressing up and styling your hair 
3. Start be open to talk about your problems with others 
4. Enjoy a hot and healthy meal at least once a day
5. Engage yoga and walks in the park at least once a week 
6. Entertain with family and friends more often
7. Reward yourself with feeling guilty 
8. Sleep well
9. Laugh at yourself for no reason
10. Explore new hobbies, recipes, places etc.
11. Stop looking back and regretting the past
12. Watch many movies
13. Love your job
14. Travel somewhere that is very different than where you live 
15. Get wild and loose once a while
16. Reach out for help when you needed 
17. Give and ask hugs as much and you can
18. Indulge yourself some sweets when you stressed
19. No longer feel ashamed of crying sometime
20. Make mistakes and accept you are not perfect

What Holidays Mean to Me

Everyone define holiday differently, and this how I describe it. These are what I like to celebrate it. When people think of holiday, most of them would think "Christmas," there are a lot of other holidays throughout the year, such as Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Easter, etc.  All national holidays are important for me equally. 

No matter which holiday it is, they all have common meaning and purpose. They can even be the same in other countries' holidays. 

1. Time for Traditions: Each family/person has their/his/her own holiday tradition. Sometimes you don't even recognize it. When I heard some families have their traditions, I thought my family did not. Then I realized we always like to do certain things on Christmas day, we can call them as "traditions." Tradition can be created on purpose and/or formed naturally.  

2. Time for Appreciation/Giving: Thanksgiving is not only holiday for appreciation. Christmas and Valentine's Day are not the only holidays for gift sharing. Gift does not have to be a "object." We show "appreciation" to our lovers and families on Valentine's Day. We express our appreciation on independence on July 4th. We honor Veterans on Veterans' day by giving thanks.

3. Time for Good(Unique) Food: Food must be the best part for any holiday. Cookies for Christmas, turkey for Thanksgiving, chocolates and candies for Valentine, peeps for Easter etc. Most holidays are associated with their own cuisine.  Each country have different holidays, but they all use food to bringing people together. Food is universal and central for all around the world.  

4. Time for Reflection/Remembering/Forgiving/Something NEW: I like to do annual personal reviews during holidays. I reflect the past year and sort what I should remember and forgive for the year. Good memories and people I met should be kept, so they will stay with me. Sad memories would be forgotten and bad people would be forgiven. I also like to try something new every year, so I can get a fresh start. 

5. Time for Bonding/Relaxing: During any holiday anywhere, everybody should be surrounded by people they love and feeling relaxed. No one should be alone, working, and/or stressed for this wonderful time of the year. Holiday time is family and friends time and happiness. This is same for every country's significant holidays. 

I will be taking vacation next week and I am very excited for it. I can't wait to share the details of my trip when I get back!!

I wish you a Merry Christmas!!

Xiaoxi Mei 

Fundraising and Bake Sale Tips

Since I was in high school, I liked to participate in a lot of fundrasing activities. My favorite one was Car Wash back then. I loved playing in the water in the hot sun. Now, my favorite is bake sale. I organized a Bake Sale back in January for Relay for Life. It is an annual fundraising event for cancer foundation at my school. Both my Bake Sale and Relay for Life were huge success. I'd like to share the tips I learned from participating those activities. 


1. Have a Crowd of People 

Do you know that crowd attracts crowd? If you have many members in the fundraising team, the chances of raising more money is higher. 

2. Make Everything From Scratch 

No matter if you are going to sell baked goods or other stuff, it is better to make them from scratch. I know it is a lot of work, but it will lower so much cost. (I'd like to thank my two helpers for my bake sale:) 

3. Decorate the Table Nicely

Be creative!! This is another way to attract more customer. There are different kinds decoration sold in various party stores. If you are tight on budget, you can go to Dollar Tree or hand craft the decorations. I feel grateful that I have team members who are talented. 

4. Going Chocolate

Do you know what were the best sellers on the bake sale? I sold four items and the rank would be 1. Brownie 2. Chocolate Dipped Shortbread 3. Chocolate Chip Cookies 4. Sugar Cookies. I was surprised that people LOVE chocolate regardless of their age, gender, and race. 

5. Keep the Price Simple and Low and Give Incentives 

People are short on cash, and I do not recommend using credit card for fundraising events. I made my cookies small enough to price them 25 cents a piece. My incentive was $1 for five pieces in order to attract people to buy more. Sometimes do not even price anything, and"Based on Donation" sign.  

6. Avoid Allergies and Give Vegan and Gluten Free Option 

Please do NOT USE NUTS. I did not put nuts in any of my treats. Not only there are people allergic to nut, but also increase the ingredient cost. I did not do the vegan and gluten free option, but I wish I did. It might cost more money by having the options; however if you have the budget, I recommend you do it. 

7. Doing Something Very Funny

There were some some laughable moments at Relay for Life. One of them was let the men dress like women and ask for money. People choose to donate to their favorite ones. Dressed men compete who can get the most donation. This event made the fundraising process fun and memorable.